Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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