i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
