Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
