Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
