Quick, to the slutcave!
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
