If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
