Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
