It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
