I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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