we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
