i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
we're making bets on your personal life
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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