I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Houston, we have a blender
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
