You're completely useless in the revolution.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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