Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Ladies don't puke and tell
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
