Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
