Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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