So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
