He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
