After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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