Kareoke will never be a sober sport
We need to rekindle our bromance
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
