I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
