tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
