Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
