My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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