Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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