I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Watching her eat just hurts me
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I am naked and annoyed.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
