I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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