You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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