Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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