I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
