He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Everclear isn't food dammit
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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