Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
