thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
