He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
