what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
is that a dick in a sweater?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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