i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
