How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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