all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
