Michael Bay diarrhea
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
