I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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