I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
