oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
