I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
