Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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