my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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