Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
tell me about the eggs
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
