So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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