Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
