So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
