im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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